That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize