Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
thus making me awesome and them whores
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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