Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
