im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
