It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
A bitchslap is in order.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
