I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
