i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
