so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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