Well apparently he's into motor boating.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
