She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
