shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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