It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
