I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
