I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT