no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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