In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
