Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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