my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
