I wish life had little blips of pornography
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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