you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
