Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
