Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
