P.S. I can't hear my feet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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