i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
