i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
