Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
