so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
