doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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