I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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