You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
