i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
