i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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