i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there