a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
