Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.

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  (870): Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine. http://tfl.nu/j38c
  Replies (56) Good night (5697) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

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  (502): All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets. http://tfl.nu/t3ff
  Replies (10) Good night (3761) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring

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  (207): I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring http://tfl.nu/1cyo
  Replies (18) Good night (4547) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.

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  (516): I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life. http://tfl.nu/0sjl
  Replies (21) Good night (5478) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks

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  (248): My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks http://tfl.nu/rdtc
  Replies (50) Good night (7154) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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  (309): I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors. http://tfl.nu/cath
  Replies (10) Good night (11190) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?

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  (415): so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then? http://tfl.nu/dz1l
  Replies (19) Good night (3533) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.

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  (608): We should search craigslist for porches to sublet. http://tfl.nu/mpxg
  Replies (2) Good night (1718) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Are we hungover?

  (713): View more from Texas

  I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.

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  (254): Are we hungover? (713): I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it. http://tfl.nu/8xx2
  Replies (5) Good night (2016) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me

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  (903): So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me http://tfl.nu/8jt8
  Replies (7) Good night (1155) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now

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  (910): She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now http://tfl.nu/y52f
  Replies (2) Good night (1191) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."

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  (757): You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE." http://tfl.nu/ep4x
  Replies (5) Good night (1498) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.

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  (614): I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help. http://tfl.nu/pypk
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.

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  (612): I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week. http://tfl.nu/fbwq
  Replies (3) Good night (254) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.

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  (919): We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks. http://tfl.nu/pidt
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (243)

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