does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.