Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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