I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
