What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize