Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
