You work out of a Hotel?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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