Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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