ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
