I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
