I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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