Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
