you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
