your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize