remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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