So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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