I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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