I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
