He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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