The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I want to have your abortion
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
