Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
