yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
