It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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