in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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