We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
