he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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