I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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