your room smells of hookers.
And success
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
