Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
