I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
