i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Alive.
So much puke
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
