operation have a gay friend backfired
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
