I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
