I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
