imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
A+ Viking dick
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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