Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just found puke in my bra..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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