I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
