I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
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We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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