belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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